


Hanahaki: Kuroken

by Yams_02



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Tsukishima Mentioned, fuck kuroo, hanahaki, imported from my wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29809194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yams_02/pseuds/Yams_02
Summary: Kenma experiences hanahaki after he realizes that his long time crush is unrequited.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	1. part one

It goes third person POV I think after like the second part? So if you don't like first person, it gets better don't worry

Kenna's POV

Volleyball practice ends and I sit on the side bench and then take a drink of water, waiting a little before going to the club room to change. Changing in front of everyone isn't something I particularly like to do, it's awkward and I'd rather just stay back for a bit.

Kuroo walks up to me from behind and places a hand on my shoulder, I look up at him with a questionable look on my face. "You did a good job today Kenma!" He says with his usual smirking smile.

I nod in response and hold my water with both of my hands, holding it close to me chest. "Mhm..." I say quietly. I stand up and look at him.

Kuroo pats my head and I frown, furrowing my brow. "What is that for?" I ask him.

He laughs a little, "You just remind me so much of a cat, I had to pet you!" He teases and starts to walk out of the club room.

I blush a little and fix my hair, "Don't say such embarrassing things.." I follow him out of the gym.

By the time we get there, a few people are already leaving and I walk over to my bag, take out my clothes and pause. I wait for a bit before I feel Kuroo's presence behind me, shielding me from the remaining people. I can't quite recall when this became a daily and expected thing, but once Kuroo found out that I used to wait until everyone left to change, he started changing in front of me so the others didn't see and I could leave earlier.  
(this is one of my favorite headcanons)

I finally slide my shirt over my head and stick my arms through, I look at Kuroo, who hasn't moved since he stood here. I tug at the hem of his shirt and he looks at me, "Oh you're done!" He smiles and grabs his bag, and I swing mine over my shoulder then nod.

We both walk from the club room and he turns to face me, and I look up at him with another questionable expression. "Why don't you come over to my house? My parents went on a small trip for a friends party. So I'm home alone." He smiles at me.

I give a smile and nod, "Okay. That sounds fun."

Kuroo's smile widens and wraps his arms around my, a small blush goes across my cheeks, "Oh good, I have some excellent news to tell you once we get there!"

I look up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Hm.." I mumble quietly.

He lets go of me and we continue walking to his house. I glance up at him a few times, he seems to be in such a good mood lately, I wonder what he needs to tell me.

Kuroo looks down at me and tilts his head, "hm?" I turn my head away quickly, my face flushed. He laughs a little. Soon we come up on his house and we both walk onto the porch, I wait for him to unlock it before we both step inside.

I've been to Kuroo's house so much it basically has the same affect as walking into my own home. I go straight to his room and sit on the bed and let my bag fall off my shoulder and onto the floor. I fold my legs and lean against the wall.

Kuroo follows me into his room and sits next to him on the bed. He, like I did, drops his bag on the floor.

"So what did you want to tell me?" I ask, tilting my head to the side to look at him. "You've been in a good mood lately.." I point out, and push some of my bleached strands of hair behind my ears.

Kuroo widens his smile and leans on me. "Remember our match against Karasuno?" I nod in response. "Well I was able to talk Tsukkishima into giving me his number, and the reason I couldn't hang after school that day was because I convinced him into a little extra practice. I bought him meat buns afterwards. He's such a cutie." Kuroo teases the salty blonde at the end, and it somehow worsened my mood.


	2. part two

"Oh.. do you have feeling for him." I ask, still hoping there was a chance to get this pit out of my stomach.

Kuroo laughs, "He's definitely an interesting one, I am definitely thinking about trying to make that shot." He says cheerfully, but what he says doesn't help my case.

I take a moment to respond, "What about the brown(/green) haired kid that's always by him? I thought they were together." I can't understand why, but I'm desperately trying to debunk his feelings.

Kuroo shakes his head and I can feel my eyes widen and I quickly calm down, "No I asked and he said they were only friends, such great luck. Tsukkishima doesn't seem to mind me too much either. He reminds me of you a little actually, I guess that's why I want to get close to him.

His words only pull at my heartstrings. "O-oh, well if he reminds you of me then why be friends with him when you have me?" I say, with a slight pouty lip.

Kuroo ruffles my hair and laughs, "Aw are you jealous." I try to get put on a smile that doesn't look too fake.

"Don't say such ridiculous things." I shake my head and keep it faced away. "Hm. I wanna get changed out of this uniform." I sigh and stand up. I walk over to a drawer and open it, since I basically live here just as much as my own home, I have a small section in one of the drawers for my clothes. I pull out a shirt and some sweats and walk into the bathroom.

Once I close the door behind me, tears roll down my cheek. I get a little surprised by them and I touch my face lightly with my fingers. "Oh I see.. I guess this is a reminder that we can't get any further with our relationship." I give a shaky sigh. I grab my shirt around the part over my heart and slide down the door and onto the floor.

I sob quietly into my knees for a few minutes before quickly drying them after I head a knock on the door, "Are you okay in there Kenma? What's taking so long?"

I take a breath and answer, "Oh um, I just got distracted, sorry, I will be right out!" I say. I take off my uniform and slip on the way more comfortable clothes. I open the door and walk out, Kuroo is on the bed again, he looks up from his phone to look atme when i walk into the bedroom.

"What were you doing in there?" He asks, still a happy expression on his face.

I sit beside him once more, "Oh I got distracted looking in the mirror, my roots are showing more and more, I wonder if I should dye them again.." I lie.

He nods his head and goes back to typing in his phone. I peek at the screen to see if the contact name is visible. My heart drops. Written in bold letters at the top is "Tsukkishima"

I look away and find my bag, once I get it, I dig through it to find my phone. I start playing a new game I found on the AppStore, it came out a while ago but it recently became super popular.

After a few minutes of this awkward silence, and occasional giggles from Kuroo, and a couple mad sounds from me, Kuroo places down his phone and leans onto me. I blush slightly and look at him, "What is it?"

He shrugs, "Nothing, Tsukki had to step away for a bit so I'm watching you play. What are you playing?"

I smile softly, it really is hard to stay sad or mad in his presence, even if I know his smile isn't for me. "It's a game called Among Us. I'm the Imposter, so I have to kill everyone. I keep getting voted out."

Kuroo laughs a little, "That sounds pretty violent. I don't want you getting any ideas Kenma kitty." He gives a dramatic pouty lip.

I flick his forehead, "What are you talking about idiot." I can't help but smile.

Kuroo's phone bings and I look at it. Kuroo picks it up and goes a little wide eyed, I watch him, ignoring my game for a bit. "What is it?" I ask.

Kuroo looks at me, "Tsukkishima asked me if I'd like to hang out.." I can tell he wants to go but feels he needs to stay with me.

"You can go to him. It's not like you wanna reject the person you don't want to reject you.. right?" I say, trying to hide the pain.

Kuroo frowns a little, "Are you sure?" He sits up.

I nod, "Well I said I want you to go to him didn't I? So why would I mind." I avoid eye contact, I look back at my game. "Besides, I left one of my school books at home, so i would've either skipped homework or I would've had to go home and grab it. So it works out." I use the book as an excuse.

Kuroo smiles and places his hand on my head. "Oh that makes me glad!" Well you have the key, just lock up when you leave, Kenma-Kitty." He then grabs a few things and leaves, he turns to smile at me before he does, then I watch him exit the house.

I feel my stomach churn. I set my phone down and let more tears stream down my cheek. My stomach feels weird. My throat itches.

I suddenly cough, and out comes a petal.


	3. part three

I stare down at my hand in shock. When had I eaten a flower? Or maybe one accidentally got stuck in a food I ate. I turn it around in my finger.

I brush it off, then grab my bag, swinging it over my shoulder. I walk out of Kuroo's house and lock it behind me. I stuff the petal in my pocket as a just in case.

My house is just next door to Kuroo's, so it obviously doesn't take me long to get inside and into my room. I bring out my phone and look for any messages from Kuroo, one hopefully saying that he's coming back because Tsukkishima is being boring. But there is nothing.

A few hours later, while I'm playing on my Nintendo Switch, I hear my phone buzz. I look over and grab it, reading the ID. It's Kuroo. I quickly open my phone and read the message.

Kuroo: The date went great! ;) we got some food from a cafe and then walked around for a bit, I'm heading home now! Did you stay at my place?

I reread his message over and over, the word date stabbing at my heart like a knife. I text back, although it's hard since my fingers feel nearly numb.

Kenma: No I didn't stay. I'm glad you had fun.

Using the word glad was too much of an overstatement. I feel something in my throat and I start to cough.

This time it's three petals.

I start to panic, I haven't eaten anything, I haven't even moved from this spot since I got here! Where are these coming from?! I crumple them between my fingers and toss them into the trash can beside my nightstand.  
Maybe online has some explanation to why I'm coughing flower petals? I grab my phone again and type on the web:

What does it mean to cough up flower petals?

I press the search button. The first folded word that comes up is "Hanahaki"

I press the screen to read more about it. My stomach drops. "In love?" I say to myself, almost to confirm the words I read. I continue to finish the article, there's a lot of information to unpack. So I'm in love with someone, and it's obviously one-sided, and so I either must confess to them; or I can lose my feeling to love. I guess there's another option also.. just wait it out and die.

But who am I in love with?

Kuroo

My eyes get a little wide, "No no.. someone else.."

Kuroo

I throw my pillow at the wall. "Dammit. He had to show his stupid face in my head when I think about love!" I make an angry sound, it's quiet so my parents don't hear it, or if they did they probably think I lost at a game.

I grab the other pillow on my bed and hold it tight to my chest. Can I even tell Kuroo about this?

No. He said things are going well with Tsukkishima. I can't ruin that for the both of them.

Can I get the surgery? I'm sure my parents, and Kuroo, wouldn't want me to lose the feeling to love just because I can't confess. Besides, the websites said that my love needs to love me back for it to be cured.

"Argh this is so frustrating!" I say, a bit stressed. "I'll just sleep on it." I stand up and walk over to turn off my lights, but then I suddenly stop.

"Would Kuroo react well if I told him about this?" I ask myself then turn off the lights and go to bed.

While trying to sleep, thoughts overflow my brain and I end up going to sleep in a bad mood.


	4. part four

Writing in first person throws me off, I'm gonna be writing in third person from now on.

————

Kenma wakes up, and when he opens his eyes he sees Kuroo, shaking the dyed blonde. "Oh thank god! You're finally up! I slept in a little, so hurry up and get dressed!" He says frantically, stealing the blanket from Kenma.

Kenma stretches and sits in bed for a second, trying to process with this weary head what Kuroo is saying. "Mmm.." Kenma mumbles and stands up, still drowsy and unbalanced. Kuroo grabs my uniform from the floor and shoves it into my arms.

"Hurry up and get dressed!" He says then walks out, closing the door to give me some privacy to change.

Kenma slides off his sweats and puts on his school uniform bottoms, then He slides his shirt over his head and off his arms, replacing the shirt with a white one. Finally he buttons up his Nekoma uniform blazer.  
Kenma grabs his school bag and walks out of his room, finding kuroo waiting on the couch. "Let's go." the setter says quietly, and Kuroo thankfully hears him.

The two walk to school together, talking very little between the two. Kenma thinks whether it's a good idea to tell Kuroo about his Hanahaki. No. He would ask Kenma who he likes, that would only lead to a confession he isn't ready for quite yet.

Kuroo gives a side glance to Kenma, seeing him in deep thought arises some questions. He places his arm across Kenma's shoulder, making the smaller male jump a little, "Whatcha thinking so hard about, Kitty?" Kuroo raises an eyebrow.

Kenma's eyes go wide a little, he brushes his hair behind his ear, "I forgot to do my homework last night." He sighs, thankfully there is an excuse.

Kuroo laughs, "You dummy, that's the whole reason why you went to your place last night! I bet you took one look at your DS and got distracted."

Kenma nods quickly, glad his captain fell for his lie, "I didn't.. I took a small nap.. then went on my DS..." I pour, shoving my hands in my pocket.

Kuroo ruffles my hair and I look up at him with an annoyed face, "Awe Kitty you're so cute!" They arrive at the school and the two walk to their classroom.

Classes go on as normal, and the bell finally rings for lunch.

Kuroo stops by Kenma's class, "Oi Kitty! Let's go to lunch." He says, waving his Bento around. Kenma grabs his lunch and quickly walks over to Kuroo, lightly punching his chest.

"Dont be loud like that, it's embarrassing." Kenma says quietly. Kuroo smirks and the two walk outside, taking their seat on a bench and eat their lunches.

"Oh yeah, I never told you about yesterday since you left. Me and Tsukkishima practiced tossing to each other for a little, then we got food. Not super big but I think I'm making progress!" Kuroo says happily.

Kenma coughs into his arm, he doesn't have to look to know there are more petals. He immediately brings his arm to his side, letting the petals fall to the floor. "Oh. Well that's good. I didn't think the blocker would ever ask you out first." Kenma says, able to keep his voice steady.

Kuroo looks at Kenma, raising an eyebrow. "That was a bad cough, are you sick." He grabs Kenma's face and stares at it.

Kenma's face goes red and he pushes Kuroo away. "Dont get so close, it's embarrassing." The setter says quietly.

Kuroo laughs. "You're so cute kitty." Kenma's heart gives a little jump in his chest. "And yeah, I didn't think he would too, but I guess my face is so handsome he had to see it again." Kuroo playfully says.

The two talk about school and volleyball for the rest of lunch before the bells rings. They walk back to their class and Kenma stops to go to the restroom before his class.

He leans in a stall, "Kuroo called me cute.." he says quietly to himself. He places a hand on his chest to slow his breathing, tears rim his eyes, the fact that Kuroo didn't even mean what he said hurt worse than losing a game file he worked hard on.


	5. part five

Volleyball was canceled today, the coaches had something to do, Kenma didn't pay attention to the reason why. The walk home from school was quiet on Kenma's part, luckily that wasn't an unusual thing to happen. Kuroo took lead in the conversation. Kenma holds his bag straps tightly, looking down, ever since lunch he had been a mess. Does Kuroo even know the effects that calling him cute has? No.. he's too dense, and anyways, it's been this way since they were kids, it would be weird if Kenma suddenly asked him to stop, or told him it made him feel weird..

"Kenma?"

Nothing.

"Kenma? You there?"

Kuroo places a hand on his head and makes Kenma face him, "What are ya thinking about?" He smirks.

Kenma looks with wide eyes into Kuroo's dark ones, "n-nothing." He softens his gaze and just looks at Kuroo till he releases his head. They continue to walk until Kenma has a coughing fit.

Kuroo pats the setter on the back. "Woah what'd you do? Swallow a bug?" He laughs a little.

Kenma coughs out more petals, he opens his sleeve a little to look, but then shoves them into his sleeve, then lets the petals fall behind them. "Haha yeah.. I dunno, maybe it's just the cold.." Kenma says, giving an obviously fake laugh.

Kuroo doesn't take his eyes off Kenma, who seems tense and uncomfortable. Why did he lie about not knowing what it was? It was clearly flower petals. Kuroo doesn't say anything, it's such a weird thing to be suspicious about. Should he be concerned that Kenma ate a flower? What a weirdo.

Kuroo takes his mind off of it by whistling a tune from a commercial he saw on TV. He stops and gets lost in thought, "Hmm.. I need to find somewhere with a little more of a romantic aura.." he places a hand on his chin.

Kenma jumps a little, looking at Kuroo with wide eyes. Romantic? Now? With him..? Kenma calms himself, he tugs on Kuroo's sleeve, looking down at the ground to hide his small smile.

"What is it Kitty?" Kuroo asks, wondering why the smaller male was being this way.

Kenma points across the street at a cafe, known for their small baked treats, it gets very popular around Valentines Day(or White Day I think).

Kuroo looks at the building and smiles, he wraps his arms around Kenma's shoulders, but he doesn't take his eyes away from the cafe. "Hmm.. it looks like a nice place." Kuroo smiles. "Good find Kitty." Kenma blushes a little, he raises his foot to take a step towards the building until— "But do you think Tsukishima likes sweets? That's what they're known for right?"

The small setter pauses, he puts his foot down and the excitement flies off his shoulders. Of course it's for that salty blocker, he thought.

Kenma takes a breath before speaking, "How am I supposed to know. Call him and ask him."

Kuroo nods, "Yeah that's probably smart." Kuroo walks a little ways away near a street lamp and opens his phone to call his not-yet-lover.

They speak, but Kenma doesn't bother listening. He feels his breath shorten and stomach churn. The dyed blonde brings his hands to his mouth and coughs, it sounds like it could be a serious sickness. Kenma does his best to muffle it with his sleeve.

More dark red petals fall from his mouth to his hands. The taste of their fragrance stuck in his mouth, and his lungs making him gasp to make up for lost air.

Kenma counts the petals, it looks like a lot more from last time. Thirteen. Now he's coughed them up three times today, it's definitely getting worse.

Kenma frowns and tosses them on the floor, he looks at Kuroo, hoping he didn't notice. Thank god his back is turned and he is still on the phone with the blonde blocker.

He lifts his hand to grab the fabric over his heart, or ached. See.. look how much happier Kuroo is with Tsukishima! Why would he want to accept your love? Pity, that's the only reason. Thoughts crush what's left of his social battery.

Kuroo comes back and puts his phone in his pocket, "Good news, but also bad news. Blondy has volleyball practice today, good news, he agreed to go to the cafe with me. So now I gotta figure what to do for an hour.." his voice trails off, he sees the dahlia flower petals on the ground. He looks around, trying to find the flowers. Nothing. He raises his eyebrow at Kenma. Where did he get those flowers?

Kenma looks down at the petals and panics, he steps on them, "What are you looking at idiot?"

Kuroo shakes his head, "I was looking at what you just stepped on."

Kenma shrugs, "Too bad." He hears his captain laugh, that warms his heart a little.


	6. part 5.2

Kuroo and Kenma walked around the streets for an hour, occasionally stopping to look at scenery. They didn't talk about anything specific, just little chitter chatter.

"Kenma, this is the longest you've been without going on your phone. I'm so proud of my Kitten!" He dramatically hugs Kenma.

Kenma shoves his hand at Kuroo's face, "No it isn't loser, and you know it. I do volleyball!" Kenma defends himself.

Kuroo rubs his face, "You're so mean to me. Blondy doesn't treat me this bad." Kenma glares at the floor.

He stomps of Kuroo's foot, "Call if special treatment. You should go pick up salty, don't make him all the way here. Karasuno is too far for him to walk." Kenma walks ahead, leaving Kuroo to tend to his aching foot.

The volleyball captain smiles at Kenma's back, but it slips away as he watches Kenma have another coughing fit. He almost goes to check up on Kenma, but he starts to run to his house.

When does Kenma ever run..? Ah shit that hurt my foot, when did he get so strong.

He rubs his foot one more time before walking to his house, which is the house right to Kenma's. He grabs the keys to the car, he couldn't really legally drive yet, but as long as he drove nicely no one would notice. Besides, he's almost eighteen anyways.

Kuroo gets in and drives to go get Tsukishima.

Kenma watches Kuroo pull out of the driveway from his window, his heart has been hurting since he walked away from Kuroo, causing him to cough up more flowers. It's definitely getting worse now. Now would be the time to decide; Sugery, Confess, .. or Die.

He slides down the wall of his bedroom and sits on the floor, he wraps his hands around his knees. "Why.." he coughs again, and again.. and again. He gets a wave of pain from his lungs, wanting air, but the petals refuse to let him breathe. This goes on for three minutes.

Kenma gasps once he coughs all of the dahlia flowers out. There's too many for comfort. Kenma hugs his stomach tightly, and stays like that for about ten minutes, just staring at the petals.

Surgery. Confess. Or die. Surgery. Confess. Or die.

Kenma slowly moves his hands up to his head, gripping his hair. Tears fall from his eyes and stream down his cheeks. "God this is so frustrating. It's getting worse and I c-can't do anything." Kenma sobs into his knees.

After another ten minutes, Kenma finally calms down. "Pathetic.." he says quietly to himself.

Kenma walks into the kitchen and grabs an old canning jar, a little smaller than his forearm. He walks back to his room and drops the petals into the glass jar, then twists it shut. For an odd reason, he felt like collecting them would be a nice way of remembering this terrible checkpoint in his life, and just perhaps the last depending on what he decides to do about his hanahaki disease.

The setter flops onto his bed and sinks into the covers, not long after receiving a buzz, message, from his phone. He picks it up and tears up at the photo sent by Kuroo (the photo at the beginning of the chapter). It's of hun and the salty blocker, him obviously not paying attention, and Kuroo acting natural.

Kenma throws his phone at the wall, not hard enough to break it though. "Go away you dense bastard." He places his hands over his eyes to try and stop from crying again, "Just leave me alone.. then maybe I wouldn't have fallen in love with you.."


	7. part six

Kenma had eventually fallen asleep after shoving the jar and petals under his bed and claiming himself down again.

It's morning now, and Kuroo walks into Kenma's house to wake him up, as he has been doing everyday since they were little. He places a hand on Kenma's shoulder, "Hey Kitty! Time to get up!" He says with a cheery smile.

Kenma doesn't move.

Kuroo sighs and shakes Kenma a little, the dyed blonde responding by swatting Kuroo's hand away. "No you need to wake up! Did you stay up late last night again?" Kuroo asks concerned. Kenma stays still, then nods his head slowly. "Gosh Kenma, you need sleep, gotta stop playing those video games!" Kuroo says, a little annoyed, but he smiles.

Kenma groans in annoyance, "I wasn't playing video games!" He says into his pillow.

Kuroo laughs, "Oh yeah? What were you doing?"

Kenma thinks for a moment, deciding what to say, he should've just agreed with video games. "None of your business." Kenma finally says.

Kuroo pushes his fingers into his black hair and sighs. "Okay then, well you still need to get up." Kuroo attempts to roll Kenma over. He fights back. He uses more force to try and get the cat-like teen from his bed. When successful, Kenma glares at Kuroo, leaving him open mouthed.

Kenma's eyes are stained red from all the crying last night. "Okay okay, I'm up.." he says softly, clearly not happy about Kuroo's expression.

Kuroo brushes his hands along Kenma's cheekbones, causing him to blush slightly. "What are you-"

"Have you been crying..?" Kuroo asks, so quietly it could've been a whisper.

Kenma swats his hand away again, "No. mind your own business." Kenma grabs his school uniform and locks himself in the bathroom to change.

Kuroo stays still, staring at his hand. I saw correctly right? He was definitely crying about something last night.. what could've made him.. Kuroo thinks to himself, racking his brain for answers. If I think about it.. he's been this way for a while actually.

Loud coughing is heard from inside the bathroom(the bathroom is like right outside Kenma's room), it sounds painful. Kuroo quickly walks to the bathroom and knocks on the door. "Kenma are you okay?!" No answer, just more violent coughing. "Do you need water?! You should probably stay home from school." It stops, bur still no answer.

The bathroom door opens up, Kenma stands in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheek, bur attempts were made to clear them. "I'm f-fine idiot..." Kenma mumbles.

Kuroo stares down at Kenma, a little stunned. That's right, he's been this way ever since he got sick. Should he go to a doctor?

"Kenma, we should go take you to the doctors, that was a nasty cough.." Kuroo suggests, then grabs Kenma's wrist to pull him out.

The setter widens his eyes and pushes Kuroo away from him, pulling his arm to his chest so Kuroo can't grab it again. "No! N-no.. I'm okay.. let's just go to school.." Kenma says, slowly getting quieter as he speaks.

Kuroo places his hands on Kenma's smaller shoulders and looks worriedly at him, "Are you sure?" He asks quietly. "It seemed like a terrible cough? Did you throw up?" He asks again.

Kenma doesn't move for a second before responding, "I'm okay you big dummy! Just mind your own business." Kenma says, his words soft and filled with a tense and uncomfortable feeling.

Kuroo nods and lets go, "Okay.. if you really think so.. let's go." He picks up his school bag and Kenma does the same thing. The two walk to school in silence, as if scared that breaking the silence will add to the already super tense air around them.

When the two boys got to school grounds, Kenma immediately split from Kuroo to walk to his classroom. Usually the two would go together, walk around, or even just hang out by the gym. Kuroo sighs, knowing full well something is up with Kenma.

Kenma stays silent, his hands on the strap of his school bag, and his head held low. He walks into his classroom and takes a seat at his desk, lays his head down and thinks.

Kuroo seemed concerned.. that's nice to know. Maybe he wouldn't mind if I told him how I felt. He wouldn't mind.. no.. I mean, we've been close since we were kids.. it's only normal to get attached to him.  
Or rather.. does he think of me like family? Not necessarily any specific family role, but still family? Maybe he wouldn't like to here my confession. Dammit Kenma. Let him be happy with Tsukishima. He worked hard to get stupid salty blocker to notice him!

He holds his school uniform tightly, more specifically the part over his stomach. Which felt tight with guilt and an overwhelming tense feeling.

Suddenly he starts to cough again, he gags and coughs, over and over again. Petals coming out by the tens. Then finally, an entire Dahlia comes up and falls to the floor.

Tears roll down Kenma's cheeks from the coughing, and a few students watch him in horror. Kenma quickly scoops up the petals and flower into his bag and rushes out of the classroom, dodging the teacher, and runs back home.


	8. part seven

Kuroo rubs his neck as he sees Kenma quickly walk off, fully knowing there is something that he isn't being informed of. Kenma is clearly sick, but that doesn't seem to be it, he avoided eye contact with Kuroo since he caught him throwing up.

Kuroo slowly walks to his classroom, deep in thought.

Should I look up his symptoms? Maybe I could find something to help him.. let's see.. he has a terrible cough, no fever.. I guess he coughed up flower petals that one time, but I wonder if it was just something he ate... he seemed very secretive about it though..

Kuroo pulls out his phone and searches

Sicknesses with a violent cough

And the first thing that comes up is whooping cough, "maybe he has that.." Kuroo asks himself in a whisper.

"Who has what?" A voice behind him asks.

Kuroo looks back at the person in surprise, then lowers his shoulders when he recognizes the student. "Oh hello Suzuki. Um it's nothing. Don't worry about it!" He says, reassuring his classmate.

"Well now you have me curious! Come on spit it out!" She says playfully, then pulls a chair to his desk and sits down opposite to him.

Kuroo rubs his chin a little, thinking before answering her. "My friend has been awfully sick lately.. he won't admit it though. I'm trying to figure out why he won't tell me he's sick, it's just a cough. I don't see why it's such a big deal." Kuroo sighs, "He's been acting so strange lately.."

Akira scratches her temple and then rests her chin on her hand, "Hm, weird how?" She questions.

"God this feels like an interrogation.. and strange like he won't look me in the eye, he doesn't seem fully invested in whats going in around him, or what I have to say. He's never been fully attentive, but now it's worse. Also, I think he's been into eating flower petals? I saw him cough them out, and there's a jar of them under his bed.." Kuroo sighs again, clearly frustrated.

Akira nods slowly, "Do you recognize the flower petals?"

Kuroo nods like the nerd he is, "Yeah they're dark Dahlias."

Akira laughs with a tense tone under it. "Oh you're stupid. Also who's the friend?" She raises an eyebrow, more interested now.

"It's Kenma, that second year I'm always with. You know him right?"

Akira gasps, "Oh shoot man! I saw him running out of the school on my way here! He didn't look too good, super pale." She points out. "Wait- dyed blonde hair right?"

Kuroo nods, shocked. "Wait did he go back home?!"

Akira shrugs, a little more worried now. "U-um I don't know."

Kuroo quickly takes out his phone and calls Kenma, it rings for a while.. then goes to voicemail. He tried again. It goes to voicemail. "Dammit.." Kuroo says stressfully.

Akira looks at her classmate with concern, "Maybe you should just go to his house, you know is address don't you?"

"What about class?!" He asks.

Akira scoffs, "What a nerd, I'll tell the teacher you had something important to do, so you'll be running late today."

Kuroo pats Akita's shoulder, "Thank you."

Akira laughs and pats him back, "No problem! Go get your lover!"

Kuroo laughs at her, "We aren't lovers, I already have one."

He runs off, leaving Akira staring blankly at him, "They.. aren't lovers... flowers huh. I guess he isn't so smart after all." She rubs her forehead. "Dammit.. now I gotta tell him, he's too dense... ah he's already gone. I'll tell him tomorrow.."

Kuroo has his hand tightly gripped on his school bag as he runs out of the school and down the street he had just walked earlier this morning. "Dammit Kenma you should have gone to the doctor!" He yells at Kenma, even though there is no way he would be able to hear him.

After about four minutes of all our running, he finally reaches Kenma's house. He takes a second to breathe before knocking on the door.

Silence.

He tries again.

Then quiet shuffling footsteps come up to the door and open it.


	9. part eight

Kuroo stands outside the door not too long before it opens, and standing before him is a Kenma with a serious bed head, and stained red eyes. "Kuroo?!" He finally says with surprise, it took him a moment to focus. "What about school?!" Kenma asks frantically.

Kuroo's eyes drop to Kenma's white school shirt, it's stained red. He grabs the shirt tightly, "Forget school! What is this!? You said you weren't sick, I knew I shouldn't have believed you!" Kuroo says with anger and concern for his childhood friend.

Kenma looks away from Kuroo, not daring to look into his eyes. "I'm just sick, that's all." Kenma brushes Kuroo's worry off, but he can still sense his friends eyes glaring at him.

Kuroo places a hand on Kenma's forehead, causing Kenma to look up at Kuroo surprised. "Strange, you don't have a fever. Maybe we should go to a doctor.." Kuroo looks at his smaller friend with determined eyes.

Kenma sighs and lifts Kuroo's hand off his head before he starts vomiting those stupid flowers again, "Okay.. let's go.. but I'm not letting you drive." Kuroo laughs, "Fine I'll ask my mom."

Kenma nods, "Can I clean up first?" He gestures to his shirt, once Kuroo nods, Kenma goes back into the house, but the bed head captain stays outside.

Kenma trades his stained white shirt for a gray shirt with little game characters on it. He places his phone into his pocket and walks back to Kuroo. "Okay, I'm ready."

Kuroo smiles softly and places a hand on Kenma's shoulder as he leads him to his house.

Kenma feels Kuroo's hand on his shoulder and he can feel his stomach turning and throat tightening. He focuses on trying not to spew the mixture of blood and flower petals everywhere. He takes deep breaths, while trying to stay walking normally, he places a hand on this chest to try and control his breathing.

Kuroo sees Kenma breathing rhythmically, and his hand on his chest. He sighs, pulling Kenma closer, he leans down and whispers, "You want a piggy back ride? We're almost there so it's be a short one." He suggests.

Kenma's eyes widen and coughs, swallowing as much as he can, although blood still comes out.

Kuroo gasps and picks up Kenma, he runs to his house and nearly kicks the door open, "Mom! Are you home?!" He asks frantically. Kenma is still coughing, a little worse now that he's in the arms of the one he loves.

Kuroo's mom comes running down the stairs, tying her hair up into a ponytail, "Testurō?! You should be at..." she stops mid sentence when her eyes fall on Kenma, some blood dripping down his hands. "Oh my god! Get in the car! We'll take him to the hospital!" She says. The middle aged woman grabs her car keys and runs out the door, Kuroo following, and closing the door behind them.

They get settled into the car, Kenma laying down in the back trying not to get his blood and the flower petals all over the seat. Kuroo and his mother in the front, both of them scared for the small setters well-being. "So what exactly happened?! I thought you both were at school!" His Mother says, clearly scared and confused.

Kuroo shakes his head, "We were but then Kenma went running back home, I followed not long after and when I got there he had blood all over his shirt! So I brought him to you so we can take him to the hospital!" Kuroo explains, trying his best not to raise his voice at his mother.

It's a bit of a distance from Kuroo's house to the hospital, and it rages Kuroo's mom that she can't break the speed limit. They reach it soon and Kuroo grabs Kenma from the backseat of the car and gives him a piggyback ride, just as he did while running to his house, and the two walk into the building hastily, while the third dangles from his friends back and forcing himself not to let anything out.

Kuroo sets Kenma down in the waiting room and then sits beside him, he strokes Kenma's head. "Guess I'll have to cancel plans with tsukishima.." he says, a little disappointed, but he tried not to show it since it's an emergency.

That's it, Kenma lets it all go from his stomach, a pool of blood and petals stain the carpet. Kuroo looks at Kenma with wide eyes. "Oh my god! Are you okay?!" It's a stupid question, obviously not.

A nurse sees this and gasps, "Oh we need to get him a doctor right away."

Kuroo looks at her, "We're waiting for one now."

The nurse raises her eyebrow at him, "I'm guessing he hasn't told you yet. Okay. Well we need to get him immediate help. Could you carry him to a room for me please? Just follow me!" Kuroo picks up Kenma and follows the nurse into one of the rooms, he sets him on the examining table and sits in the chair beside. "I'll be back in a minute with a doctor. Sir, try and make sure he keeps breathing normally." She asks of Kuroo, before leaving.


	10. part nine

Kuroo watches Kenma carefully, an awkward tension fills the room. Kenma folds his hands in his lap and swings his legs lightly, waiting for Kuroo to say something like he usually does to break the silence. He waits for that comment, or sarcastic statement that will start a conversation between the two. Nothing happens. "Kuroo please say something?" Kenma asks shyly, and he doesn't look his black haired friend in the face.

Kuroo sighs, "What do you want me to say. That I think you're an idiot for not going to the doctors sooner? You must've had some symptoms before now, why didn't you say anything? Especially to me?" Kuroo asks, concerned and hurt that his best friend he knew for years kept something so serious from him.

"I wanted to tell you.. I still want to tell you.. but I'm scared.." tears form at Kenma's eyelids, and he bats them to make them disappear.

Kuroo walks over to Kenma and places a hand on his shoulder, "Why were you scared to tell me of something like this? I'm worried about you, you coughed up a lot of blood." Kuroo rubs Kenma's small shoulder with his thumb.

Kenma rubs his eyes and looks at Kuroo finally, "I really wish you weren't that dense." Kenma says, just loud enough for Kuroo to eat barely.

The taller male opens his mouth to say his reply, but the door opens, interrupting. "Kenma Kozume? Please follow me, I'd like to do some X-Rays?" He asks, looking at Kenma with a smile.

Kenma hops off the examination table and walks over to the doctor, the two leave the room and Kuroo is left behind, trying to understand why he's considered "dense."

Kenma silently follows the doctor to another room, there's a large machine, the X-Ray. The doctor gestures Kenma to stand on the machine.

The small process takes a while, but the doctor sighs as he's come to a conclusion. "I'm sure youre already aware, seeing as how far along you are.. but you have hanahaki disease. Now you have two options to help you, either get the surgery or confess. Although with the surgery, you lose the ability to have romantic feelings again. And confessing is usually a 50/50 chance." He says slowly, looking at Kenma to make sure the information when through.

Kenma nods shakily, he had had hanahaki disease for a while now, he knew it, but hearing it aloud like that only made him sick. "Ah I see.. I'm guessing the surgery costs a lot.." Kenma states.

The doctor nods, "It's a bit of an uncommon surgery surprisingly and also quite difficult , but if you're worried Dont be. The surgeons here have a very high success rate." He gives a comforting smile. "Would you like me to speak with the adult who brought you here about it?" Kenma shakes his head quickly.

"If possible.. I don't want them knowing about it. Then they'd try and help me... if you could only give the basic details, I'll break it to them soon enough..." Kenma pleads, nearly letting the tears fall from his eyes.

The doctor nods, "Yes, I understand."

Another few minutes go by, the doctor gives Kenma a few papers about the surgery, and just basic information on ways on how to handle or take care of Hanahaki.

Kenma is released and he goes back to Kuroo, who's still in the room the doctor took Kenma from. "We can leave now, I got what I needed."

Kuroo sits up in surprise, "Wait the doctor isn't gonna come and speak to us about what's wrong?"

Kenma shakes his head, "No, I know what's wrong with me and that's good enough."

Kuroo looks at the papers, "What are those for?" He asks, concerned and curious.

Kenma crumpled them up and tossed them into the small trash bin by the counter, "they're nothing. Can we please leave?" Kenma reaches out and grabs Kuroo's sleeve. "I'll even do what you say.. I'll stay home and take care of myself.."

Kuroo steps forward and brings Kenma into a light hug, "Okay, if that's what you want." They both walk out and find Kuroo's mother, Kenma informs them both of the bare minimum, making a few things up. Mrs. Kuroo complains a little about how the doctor didn't even come out and speak to her.

The group leaves the building and gets settled in the car, same seating arrangements.

I'm not exactly sure how hospitals work, but like, hope you enjoyed, sorry for such a late update! School work is stupid.


	11. part ten

⚠️tw warning: blood⚠️  
I know it's a little late, but I'd rather be safe than sorry ✌️

We arrive at Kuroo's house, his mom gets out and tells Kuroo to help Kenma out of the car, scared that he may collapse or spew his guts out again, then walks inside. The raven haired boy does as he's told and opens the door for Kenma, then offers a hand to help him out.

Kenma grabs it lightly and uses it to help him get out of the car, Kuroo shuts the door and they begin to walk to the house until Kenma pinches Kuroo's jacket, making them stop. "Um.. maybe I should head back home? You still have school.. also.. I don't want you to cancel your plans with the salty fry just because I'm not feeling well..." Kenma says quietly.

Kuroo lets out a breath, an attempt to give a small laugh, "it's fine, I have to take care of my Kitty." He playfully peta Kenma's head, ruffling up a few hairs. "But if you really wanna go home you can, I'll change and meet you there. You need to go lay down and no video games. I'll be very strict on that."

Kenma frown twists into a smile, although that's inevitable when he's around such a caring person. "Thank you.." he mutters.

Kuroo smiles and nods, "Of course. This is what best friends do! Okay, I'm gonna go in and change, have a safe walk, try not to pass out." He starts to walk into his house, Kenma turns around and begins to walk to his house, which is just next door to his, he clutches the shirt fabric that lays over his heart.

When Kenma reaches his house, he immediately walks to the bathroom to release what he had been swallowing down. Blood. Blood and petals. Out and out it comes, into the toilet bowl. The dahlias mix in with the blood, so much it's hard to tell which is which when Kenma's eyes are blurry with tears. After he stops coughing and throwing up excessively, he flushes the toilet and leans against the wall. "Why am I so stupid.. why did I suggest that he go with Tsukishima! It's like.. it's like I'm trying to kill myself!" Kenma sobs into his hands.

Kenma crawls from the bathroom, leaving a trail of dahlia petals, falling from his mouth. He grips the jar of petals under his bed, he takes it and opens it up. Kenma gently picks up the petals from the floor and stuffs them into the glass jar, it's nearly all the way full. Kenma rolls it back under his bed, mixing in with old socks and shirts he stuffed under his bed as an excuse his room was clean.

He lays on the floor, controlling his breathing and staring at the ceiling before hearing the door open. Kuroo walks in with a bag full of medicine and crackers, which he most likely got from his house. "Hey Kitty, how are you doing?" Kuroo crouches down and pats Kenma's forehead, a soft smile on his face. Kenma barely is able to return it. "Can I move you to the bed? The floor looks uncomfortable." Kenma nods slightly and so Kuroo wraps his arms around the small setter and lifts him gently onto the bed. Kenma fights the urge to cough up again. Kuroo noticed this and frowns, "You know.. I'm really worried about you. The doctor didn't say anything, it makes me curious as to if they know what's wrong with you... sorry that came out wrong, there's nothing wrong with you." He strokes the strands of hair that usually cover Kenma's face.

"How nostalgic" they both think

Kenma frowns, he knows he's putting Kuroo through a lot, but him knowing the truth would only bring him down more. "I'm gonna use the restroom real quick, I'll be back. There's food in the bag I brought, try and eat if you feel like it." Kuroo smiles before walking off down the hallway.

"Am I forgetting something? It seems like.. I am... bathroom?" Kenma thinks for a second, but he realizes it once he hears a very audible gasp from Kuroo. "Shoot!" Kenma shoots up, his head spinning as he does.

Kuroo slowly walks out, his hand resting on the bathroom doorway, "Did you have another coughing fit? There's bloody prints on the toilet, and some on the floor. And for a reason I still can't figure out, more petals. Do you buy them often? I've never seen you buy dahlias, nor seen you show any interest in flowers; but I keep seeing them everywhere." Kuroo says, clearly confused to why his best friend is obviously hiding something from him.

"Oh it's nothing Kuroo! I promise. You can forget the flowers, they were a.. gift. Mhm, now can we put on a movie?" Kenma says, hoping the lie would suffice.

Kuroo walks over to Kenma, staring him in the eyes. "A gift? From who? It's not like you hang out with anyone but me, and last time I saw you cough them up.." Kuroo says, "There's definitely something I'm missing. Can you please tell me?"

Kenma nearly tears up again, he bites his tongue and swallows everything he wishes he could say, everything he wishes he could explain. It wouldn't be fair for him to confess to Kuroo now that he's finally found someone who can truly appreciate him, someone who can express their love to him. "Listen.. I know you're confused, and probably a little hurt, but can we please just watch a movie and relax? My head is spinning and I don't know if I can explain without it sounding like gibberish. I'll explain everything to you tomorrow. Okay?"

Kuroo sighs and brings Kenma into a hug. "Okay. I trust that you'll tell me everything tomorrow, and that you won't put it off." He brushes his fingers through his raven hair and looks to the bedroom. "What movie would you like to watch?" He walks into Kenma's bed and picks up the remote to the TV, he looks up at Kenma and pats the spot beside him.

Kenma smiles sadly and walks over, sitting in the spot Kuroo gestures him to. "Let's see.. something with action."


	12. part eleven

Kenma looks over at Kuroo, his raven haired head lays on the back of the couch, he has fallen asleep halfway through the movie, even though it's only noon, the stress got to him. Kenma pats his spiked up messy hair and smiles. He stands up and adjusts his friends sleeping position so that his head is on one of the couch pillows and that he's now actually sleeping horizontally. Kenma takes a blanket from a closet and lays it over Kuroo. The small setter's eyes stare at Kuroo, fascinated by his featured.

"You're so peaceful, I wonder who else has gotten to see this side of you before, I hope it's only me and forever will be only me. I guess I'm selfish.... god you should gut punch me, maybe that would help." Kenma thinks to himself, quite frustrated with himself. He stroked Kuroo's hair just as Kuroo does to him. His face nuzzles into his hand and Kenma gasps, excited but also trying to remain calm. He looks around the room, as if trying to find someone to tell. Kenma looks back at Kuroo and smiles.

There's a buzzing sound. Kenma looks around and tries to find the source, eventually he finds that it's coming from Kuroo's pocket. He gently takes it out and walks to the other room before answering. "Hello?"

"... you aren't Kuroo." A non familiar voice stated from the other end.

"Oh no, I'm not. This is Kenma Kozume." He responds.

"Where is Kuroo?"

"Um he's asleep, can I take a message?"

"No it's fine, just tell him Tsukishima called. Okay?"

Kenma almost lets out a gasp before catching himself, "O-oh okay. Is that all?"

There's silence at the other end before an answer, "Yes that's all. Have a good day." The line clicks and a humming sound fills Kenma's ear.

He taps off the call and stands there silently for a moment, "why wouldn't he be calling his inevitable boyfriend. That's what you do when you're lovers.." Kenma says to himself. He places the phone on the coffee table before walking to his room.

The dyed blonde shuts the door behind himself and locks it, tears immediately following. He brings the back of his hands to his eyes and rubs his eyes red. "Stupid stupid stupid stupid!" He yells, but it comes out as only a whisper. "Why'd you have to call! I was just.. I was just getting the stupid confidence!" Kenma scoffs and slides down his door. He brings his knees to his chest and sobs as quietly as he can into his knees.

It's about thirty minutes before Kenma is finally able to calm down enough to breathe smoothly. His eyes are redder than they've been in a while. Kenma walks to his window and opens it, then leans over and emptying the blood and flower petals from his throat down into the grass below.

He wipes his mouth and turns to his desk, "It's more frequent now. It's only a matter of time..." Kenma says to himself quietly.

He sits down at his desk and pulls out a notebook and pencil. Kenma begins to scratch words down onto the paper..

-a few hours later-

Kenma feels something wet on his head and his eyes slowly open. A figure is leaning over him, a figure so familiar that Kenma doesn't have to gain focus to know who it is. "Kuroo? What are you doing?" He asks, his voice scratchy from crying and due to the fact he just woke up.

Kuroo smiles, "You're eyes and nose were red, so I thought I would help. And you know.. leaving your window open doesn't help with being sick." He says, sounding like a concerned parent.

Kenma smiles, "I'm sorry, I was looking at the sky, it was a pretty afternoon." It isn't a complete lie, he had taken a small glance at it in the middle of throwing up.

Kuroo nods, believing the story. "Well I'm glad you've taken in interest in nature, but you gotta be careful." He says, flicking Kenma's cheek, who responds with a noise of pain.

"Jeez I said I'm sorry.." he pauses, "What time is it?"

Kuroo looks at his phone, "it's six o'clock. We slept for a long time. But I'm glad, you seemed to have needed it." Kuroo smiles and looks back up at Kenma, who's still tucked under the covers.

Kenma nods slowly, sadly he had woken up, and there's something he positively knows Kuroo will ask.

"Hey, since we both slept for like four hours, would this count as tomorrow?" There it is.

Kenma sighs and sits up, "I guess. There's no point in constantly putting it off. But not here, how about we go that bridge with the benches?" Kenma suggest, Kuroo nods.

"Okay, but first you should shower." Kuroo pats Kenma's head. And Kenma nods in agreement.

He swings his slender legs over the bed and walks down the hallway and into the bathroom.

After a few minutes, Kenma comes into us bedroom in a towel and looks through clothes, trying to find something nice. Kuroo's waiting in the living room, probably chatting with Tsukishima. His heart aches.

The dyed blonde picks out a white sweatshirt, jeans, tied flannel around his waist, and gray jeans. He walks up to the mirror and looks at himself. As the final touch, Kenma uses a hair tie to tie up his growing hair into a ponytail. He smiles.

Kenma walks out and looks at Kuroo, who's smiling at his phone. "Are you ready?" He asks a bit forcefully, more so than he wanted.

Kuroo jumps a little and looks up, "o-oh yeah! Let's go!" Kuroo stands up and opens the door for Kenma.


	13. part twelve

The two walk from the house, and it isn't a long walk before they arrive at the bridge Kenma mentioned. It overlooks a small river which their side city was built around. They take their seat at a wooden bench, which is bolted to the ground, and stay silent for a moment before Kuroo breaks it, "So... what's going on with you? Can you tell me now?" He asks, so politely that Kenma couldn't say no.

He nods slightly and takes a breath. "But before I tell you, there's something I want to confess..." his voice is shaking heavily, so much so that Kuroo gives a concerned look, and even Kenma is scared he'll break down right here in public.

"Go on, Kitty"

Kenma sighs and slowly stands up, he turns to face Kuroo and furrows his brow, locking his eyes on his sneakers. "I'm late.. and I'm sorry. But I really like you. I feel like I have since we were in middle school but I... I'm just now realizing..." he desperately avoids Kuroo's gaze. "And I hate to push this on you, but I need an answer. Just a yes or no will do. It will determine what I can tell you about what's been going on."

Silence.

More silence.

Kenma peeks up to look at Kuroo and he loses his breath. Kuroo's jaw is wide and his eyes making it look like he didn't even comprehend what Kenma just said. "W-what? You like me?" He says, a little dazed.

Kenma nods and tightly grips his hands into fists at his side. "Yes. Yes I do." He says with such false confidence it's almost convincing.

Kuroo rubs his face with his hands, "This isn't really the time to confess Kenma, are you okay? Is your sickness that serious that you feel you need to do this?" Kuroo asks, looking back up at Kenma.

"No you're mistaken, this is a good time to confess, although I've been pushing it off for so long because I already knew the answer." Kenma says, his voice trembling with fear of how his best friend will react.

Kuroo sighs, "I'm sorry.. but you should know.. me and Tsukishima are basically dating now.. and I.. I can't just leave him like that. It wouldn't be right." He explains.

Kenma sighs softly and smiles, he places a hand on Kuroo's cheek, "I know. And that's why I like you so much. You always put others before yourself. I wish you so much happiness." Tears start to stream down his cheeks.

Kuroo takes notice in the tears and quickly wipes them away. "Oh shoot! Kenma please don't cry! I'm sorry!" He says, frantically trying to make his smaller friend stop crying.

"What did you expect me to do? Dance around in glee that I've been rejected? It isn't exactly a happy occasion.." Kenma says. As expected, he starts to cough badly into his hands.

Blood comes pouring out , and this time instead of petals, full flowers come from his throat and out to be displayed in his hands.

Kuroo watches in horror as the mysterious dahlias he has been seeing constantly we're now blooming from his childhood friend's mouth. "I- Kenma are you okay?! What's happening?!" Kuroo asks with desperation. "Is this because I rejected you?! Will it stop if I accept?!"

Kenma spits out words in-between painful coughs, "No you idiot. This isn't magic or some shit! Ugh. You cant just reverse it with meaningless words!" Kenma tries to take a few deep breaths to allow him to speak. "Next time you go to my room, there's a gift for you in the bottom drawer of my desk, I want you take it. It will explain everything." Kenma starts fo cough even more. It isn't visible, but he can feel the vines wrapping around him from the inside, limiting his ability to breathe.

Kuroo places his hands around Kenma's waist and back, he pats his back with force and fear. "What?! A gift? What are you talking about?! What's happening! Y-you aren't making any sense!" Kuroo starts to tear up from seeing his best friend in so much pain.

Kenma's coughs grow worse and worse, the flowers coming out a little bigger and now coming out with stems and leaves.

Bystanders watch with worry and confusion, a few wondering whether they should call an ambulance.

Kenma looks up at Kuroo with soft eyes, "p..please look at m..my gift. Dont b..be a damn wuss." Kenma smiles one last time.

Kenma loses feeling in his limbs and his eyes lose its liveliness.

Full flowers sprout from his throat, like a bouquet that someone had placed there. Kuroo states with wide eyes, filled with horror and shock.

Screams fill the air, and it takes a moment for Kuroo to realize that he's the one screaming. His throat dry and hurting from such loud wails of pain. He grips Kenma's Limp body tightly to his chest. Gut wrenching sobs escape him. "Dammit!!" He screams before sirens are heard in the distance.


	14. part thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last one lmnao

It's been almost a year since Kenma passed away. After the mishap at the bridge, Kenma was sent to the hospital, but as expected, it was too late. It was the doctors who had to inform his family and Kuroo that it was Hanahaki what killed him.

It's been almost a year since Kuroo gave up on life, he quit volleyball, which came as a big surprise to the team, and barely enjoyed school anymore. How else would someone act when they're the reason that their best friend died. The guilt had stabbed at his heart so badly that he hadn't felt he had the right to enter Kenma's room. The room where they shared so many happy memories. He found himself often wondering how long Kenma had to deal with that disease while he flaunted his relationship with Tsukishima in front of him.

It's been almost a year since Kuroo had a real conversation with anyone, still expecting Kenma to be there for him. It wasn't until he was gone where he realized that he was limited on people he could have a deep conversation with. Even though Kenma was never very expressive with his feelings, he always listened.

Kuroo is nearly to his graduation, and luckily he had enough to credits to get away with his lazy lifestyle, although fortunately none of his teachers and classmates were too hard on him, even his parents couldn't bring themselves to raise their voice or speak to him about grades and school.

At the moment, Kuroo stands outside, it's his birthday today. He stands right outside Kenma's house. He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.

There's footsteps on the other side Jayant before it opens, it's Kenma's mother. "Oh hey Kuroo, happy birthday!" She says with a smile, although it had hints of pity and sorrow. "Are you here for.." she clearly can't bring herself to finish that sentence. Towards the beginning of dealing with Kenma's death, they barely acknowledged that he was dead, everyone always said "Are you here to see Kozume?" Or "Did you go see Kenma?" Even though they were only talking about his room. Although now it's finally hitting hard that the little boy they've known for years is gone and isn't coming back.

"Thank you." He smiles in response to hers, "And yeah.. I hope it won't be too much trouble." Kuroo says, hoping that they'd let him in, but he'd turn away if they refused, part of him wanting to right now.

Mrs. Kenma shakes her head, "No no, it isn't. I understand. It's the first birthday in so many years that you're.. spending.. without Kozume." Tears swell up in her eyes and she turns away, "I'm sorry, you can just head on back."

Kuroo nods, he does feel bad for troubling the Kenma's with his visits, but he's so grateful they understand. "Thank you again, and sorry for the intrusion." Kuroo passes the still grieving Mother and walks down the hall into Kenma's bedroom. He pauses, his hand on the doorknob. Kuroo takes a deep breath before opening it. It's cold.

He smiles and looks around, still looking for his Kitty. Tears start to stream down his cheeks. It's so empty, so cold, yet it feels as though there's still a presence.

Kuroo walks in a little bit further and closes the door behind him. "Hey Kenma." Kuroo says, whisper level, to whatever is left of him here.

Sometimes Kuroo prayed that ghosts exist, just so there's be the slightest possibility of feeling his warmth, presence, or just seeing him again.

Kuroo sighs shakily, he does that a lot now to stop from crying.

He runs his face with his palms and looks at the desk. The gift is in there. The very last gift he will ever receive from Kenma. He made the excuse that he would rather open it on his birthday for memorable and sentimental reasons, but that was only to put off reading it. Now it's time.

Kuroo walks over to the desk and traces the handle of the last drawer with his fingers before pulling it open. There in the drawer, along with a lot of gaming DVD's, is an envelope labeled "Kuroo" in Kenma's blocky hand writing.

He stares at it before picking it gently in his hand. Kuroo pulls out and chair and sits down. He stops once again and stares.

Kuroo slides his fingers under the flap to open it, he barely tears it thankfully. He takes out the sheets of paper, folded nearly inside, and sets the envelope on the desk. He unfolds the papers and closes his eyes. "... I can.. I can do this.." he opens them and starts to read.

Hey Kuroo

If you're reading this then that must mean I died. I'm sorry.

I didn't want to die. But I'd rather die loving you than live on to never love you again. I hope you're not mad. I can understand if you are.

Just know this is somewhat you're fault! You're too perfect! Too nice to me when I've treated you so bad. Although I don't want you to feel guilty, I feel guilty for keeping it from you. You've done so much and I replayed you with death and secrets.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You could've been happy if you didn't decide to befriend a video game obsessed gremlin.

Kuroo slightly laughs, he had called Kenma a gremlin a few times, mainly when he would catch Kenma staying up till' two a.m raging to video games.

There's something for you under the bed. Dont keep reading till you grab it!

Kuroo raises an eyebrow, he doesn't feel like moving and debates not grabbing it, but it's one of Kenma's last requests. He sighs and stands up, the raven haired boy walks to the bed and looks under it. Shirts, pants, a few old papers and trash. There's something out of place. A jar? He reaches under with fear of touching something nasty and grabs it. He pulls it out and gasps.

It's a jar full of Dahlia petals.

Kuroo stares at it. His mouth gapped. He holds it tightly and goes back to reading the letter, hoping for an explanation.

If you can't find it, it's the jar of petals. I'm sure it's down there you just have to look. Do you have it? Okay.

You probably know what they are, I'm probably selfish and rude for making you look at them after what will inevitably happen. But I want you to have them. I don't really know why, but I'm petty and I want you to remember me!

You know, I'm actually scared. I'm really scared. It hurts. I didn't want to tell you this now, making you feel guilty. But I need to get it all out now or I never will, and no one would know.  
I'm scared of being forgotten, I guess I should've done more to be remembered, that's on me. I'm scared of coughing up more, a sick reminder that I don't have much longer.

I really love you. I do. I'm so sorry I couldn't just let you be happy with Tsukishima.

You're probably mad at me for not getting the surgery, but I'd rather die loving you than love and never feel this way about you again.

I'm truly sorry. It's all my fault.

I have one last request to ask of you, don't be sad. I'm stubborn, I'll stay here and watch over you! I promise. So don't let me hold you back! You were born to do amazing things! So go do them.

Love,  
Your Kitty

Kuroo lets out a sob, a few tears falling onto the papers, he quickly moves them so the handwriting won't be ruined. "You.. you really should've studied more in language arts." He says, playfully mocking how messy his letter was, that was only to distract him of how painful it was to read it.

Kuroo looks at the jar and holds it tightly to his chest. "I can't believe you're worried about me forgetting you, how could I ever forget my first love..."

Kuroo sighs, "maybe if I asked you out in middle school instead of getting rid of my feelings, this would have happened.."

He lets it all out, cries of pain and love.

This what be what people mean when they say right people, wrong time.


End file.
